This is a first for this blog – two posts in one day! I thought about waiting until tomorrow, but this is too important.
Every time I press “post” on one of my blog posts I get nervous. I think this is the post where people give up on me because I’m too weird or too flawed or they won’t understand what I’m really trying to say. I don’t listen to that voice, because I know who it is, but that doesn’t stop him from trying.
Every time I think it’s too much, I get bombarded with the most amazing comments, texts, phone calls, messages etc, most of them on a private level, and every single one of them is proof to me of how much the Lord loves each and every one of you individually.
Years ago I was feeling felt overwhelmed, totally alone, and drowning in pain. I remember asking the Lord to help me not feel alone and I gradually found friends who understood what I was going through. They didn’t necessarily have the solutions to my problems, but not being alone gave me the strength to not quit and to keep fighting.
I never wanted anyone else to feel alone like that if I could do something about it. The Lord told me I wouldn’t be able to help others to not feel alone if I wasn’t willing put myself on the line, speak out about my weaknesses, mistakes, sins and follies. It is hard not only to admit that I’m not perfect (because if I didn’t admit it, you totally wouldn’t know, right?) but to point out the exact ways I’m not perfect.
This is where His love for you comes through: Every post I do is inspired by something, usually something random that doesn’t make any sense for me to post about, I mean I’m hardly an expert on spiritual matters. I cannot write these posts without the Holy Ghost telling me what to say. Every post I have to expose a part of me that I’d rather keep hidden.
I told the Lord years ago that I was willing to show my weaknesses if they could help, and He keeps me to my promise. He tells me which part of me I am supposed to share, because there is someone who needs to know they are loved.
I’ve only had a few times where I’ve truly known why I posted about a particular thing, but every time I post I feel a spiritual pat on the back letting me know that whatever the purpose of the post is (and sometimes it may just be for my own good) is being accomplished.
I’m not trying to make it sound like I’m unusual in any way, because I’m not, I’m just among the ranks of the regular people trying to do their best. What I’m poorly attempting to say is that every post confirms to me that he loves you so much that he employs every person he can rally to show that love for you, even a poor bumbling and imperfect blogger, and I am so grateful that I get to be a small part of each of your lives.
He loves you.